Here's the real deal truth of the matter: playing it safe doesn't keep you safe. Brene says that joy is the most vulnerable human emotion. You must bargain away your joy, trading it for the false promise of safety. For betrayed partners, there comes a decisive moment or string of moments when she must decide what she is going to do with vulnerability and joy. Teachers everywhere are our people. Why are we numbing ourselves? Disarming Tool #3: Numbing. Happiness is circumstantial. Every time you do, you give yourself permission to do it again.
Is Joy A Primary Emotion
And while there are boundaries and compassion and the generosity of allowing space for others to feel and express, you do not have to abandon yourself or your joy to do this. Practicing gratitude can help you acknowledge the positive things in your life and find reasons to feel joy, even in small ways. Research shows that, rather than feeling most vulnerable when experiencing negative emotions, you may actually feel most vulnerable when experiencing positive emotions—particularly joy. The addition of her latest Netflix special Call to Courage released over the Easter holiday weekend is further testament to the power and necessity of this conversation. For a lightweight intro to some of Brené Brown's work you could do worse than spend an hour watching The Call to Courage on Netflix. Check out my website. "Don't rest on your laurels". Yes, the people in Brené Brown's research with a dramatically higher tolerance for joy (who feel it more often, and for longer periods of time) all have a gratitude practice of some kind. The feeling you get when you're happy, but the happiness is followed quickly by a sense of dread. Increase your distress tolerance for joy—Notice if you're "bracing" for disaster unnecessarily and try to develop an inner dialog that is calming and soothing, like you would if consoling a scared child. If summarizing 20 years of research and over 400, 000 data points could possibly be done in a little over an hour, Brene does so artfully in the Netflix special. He is in rugged, torn clothes, v dirty.
Joy Is Not An Emotion
An obvious example is substance abuse, but other forms of numbing are overeating, vegging out in front of the television, or keeping yourself constantly busy. In my work as a trauma therapist, I often share the two things that stand out most to me about how people are impacted by relational trauma and complex PTSD: Loss of the ability to trust yourself. These are our people. After all, it has the power to change your life.
Joy Is The Most Vulnerable Emotion.Com
Telling the story of her own breakdown (which she lovingly refers to it as a breakthrough or "Spiritual Awakening") she was confronted with the reality of what it was going to take to live a wholehearted life. It also isn't grief, sadness, anger, rage, or hopelessness. I am going to do my best to live in the moment instead of worrying about the possibilities of how things could go wrong. What brings you joy? Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light. What does it mean to dress rehearse tragedy? In a previous clip from "Oprah's Lifeclass, " she spoke about how we use perfectionism as one such shield. When have you self-sabotaged because that felt better than losing joy in other ways? I do it because I'm scared to be vulnerable and I'm scared to truly feel joy. You can shift the above by cultivating self-compassion, developing shame resilience, and speaking your truth. "It's so bad, " Brown agrees.
Adjust your response accordingly—Physical threats require action and intervention to maintain safety. The purpose of your vulnerability is to deepen relationships by sharing emotions in thoughtful and intentional ways. You have to be willing to let your guard down to attain it. We're so afraid that if we let ourselves feel joy, something will come and take that away from us and we'll be hit with pain, trauma, and loss. I saw more people pulling over. We are terrified of being blindsided by pain, so we practice tragedy and trauma. In this sense, joy becomes vital, not only for your thriving but your survival, your courage, your ability to move through whatever it is you're going through, from the personal to the global. I'm grateful for my strong support system, our access to healthcare, my own health and freedom to do what I want, for being alive. You may feel your breathe quicken when you openly share your thoughts, emotions, and needs.